So.. the conclusion is, no matter how you think you loved someone, if they hurt you continuously, then it's not love. Some just convince their self that this is love so the pain and the heartache were reduced, but actually we just make thing worst. We just didn't let ourselves to be happy.
For me.. once again for me.. i've learnt it the hard way that i simply don't wainna ever again gives someone a third chances or more. I've given my ex probably 50 or something chances, i didn't count it anyway. And there's also someone else that i've given a second chances (beside my ex. Long story ) and ends up badly.
Everyone deserve a second chance, so for some people who still thinks they can't through the breakup, it's okay to once again giving a chance. But when they do dissapoint you again, you have to realize that if they love you, they simply gonna try harder not to hurt you. But if they did not put effort on it, why do you even bother to waste your time with this kind of a person? it's almost like one sided love.
But if you loved someone so much that you would gave them 100 chances or more, then don't complain about how bad your partner treat you or hurt you! ever! for the first or second time they hurt you, it's okay to complain about them to LOTS of people, but when it comes to third chances or more, it's already your choice. don't whine and play as a victim while you didn't even love yourself. Sympathy of others for the role of a girl/boy whose been hurt but still true to their abusive (mentally or physically) partner were never meant to be toyed. know your worth. People will find it annoying too if you don't love yourself. Believe me i've been in those "victim" position, and i'm not proud of it. I hate it when some people just bragging about their abusive relationship to lots of people in order for them to pity him/her, and they feels like saint while people giving a comment such as :
"OMG, he's not worth it, you're beautiful, he's freaking ugly, he even lucky just to have you, you're such a faithful person"
"He's so terrible, you deserve much better"
and on and on and on.
Deep down, i think this kind of person felt proud by telling their stories where they were a faithful, cheerful, wonderful human being and got hurt by their partner but love him/her so much that they willing to get hurt.
You know, if they loved their partner so much, they wouldn't told their partner's ugly sides toward everyone simply because they don't want him/her to be judge. So i never symphathize this kind of person. i think they don't deserve it.They just want drama and attention (No offense for anyone, if you feels so, i'm so deeply sorry) Unless you told only your nearest circle that you can count by your own finger.
for me, love is patience, when your loved one's happiness become your priority, when every single word of them were actually feels like a song to you, and you willing to hear they talked over and over again,even if what interest them didn't interest you much, but you willing to learn or hear about it Love also where every opinion matter, and you like them the way they are instead of shape them into what you wanted. Your love one might be not perfect. But have you think that you aren't perfect either? but they love you the way you were. it's about take them as they are and you tried to be a better person for them. Understand their shortage but still love them.
And to clarify something, i might have told every worst thing about my ex that caused me broke up with him. But actually he's a nice man. you know, no one ever been such a douche that they had nothing good on them. It just, probably ... we never meant to be, and i didn't much understand him and so do him to me.
and if you were in abusive relationship right now, please do know your worth ... i've been seeing my friends in this kind of relationship, where their partner never appreciate them, they hanging there, in the end it all worthless, you just wasted your time and missing whats actually good for you. Even, probably, you missed whats best for you.
i know it's hard for the first time to end a relationship no matter how abusive it is. The heartache, the pain, the rejection, the wonder of not knowing why they didn't love you properly, asking yourself where did you go wrong, and the question of why you never good enough for them. But believe me, time heals almost anything.
the time will come for you to forget them. But, Spending time on someone who didn't appreciate you were worst than those painful feeling, actually.
and i've been there, there are someone who hurt me that way(my ex, not my ex, who cares) .. At first i was felt miserable and worthless, i felt sad, and felt insecure about myself, i get mad to the one who hurt me, everytime i saw him or heard about him cause me a weird feeling in my stomach (not in a good way). But after a while those heartache and painful feeling were slipped out of my hand and now i don't give a damn anymore
i can't even hate him, because i'm so movinggg on ..
that's how you know you healed.Everything about them were meaningless to you. You didn't give a damn about how would they think about you, because you DIDN'T EVEN CARE. You can even smile when you see them because you felt nothing, it's almost like a formal smile you throw at someone you know.
you are the one who create your life paths, what you wanted to sacrifice, or the choices you made. so don't complain when it didn't goes your way, or blame someone else for a decision you made yourself.
it's your choice after all..
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